Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Typical driving conversation....

My daughter is a genius!!! Ok, not really.  But she sure is cute!

So the other day we were driving in the car and Addie asks me "How do you spell UDA"?
UDA is Addie's dance studio. It is also known as Utah's Dance Artists, but mostly called (and logo) UDA.

I answer, "U-D-A".  Addie yells at me, "No MOM.  How do you spell UDA"?  I repeat my answer a second time only to make her get even madder.  "Mom", she said, "You don't get what I'm asking.  Just spell UDA for me"!

By this time I'm getting a little flustered because she is getting so mad.  I calmly ask her if she knows what UDA stand for?  She paused and though about it.  "Addie, UDA is only the initials of the real name of the studio".  Then I gave her examples using both her and her brothers name then telling her what their initials would be.  "So you see, the U stands for Utah, the D stands for Dance and the A stands for Artists.  Therefore You spell UDA the way it sounds, because its just the initials"!

"Oh, I get it" she finally said.  I was happy to end this conversation......  But Addie had another question.  "Well then, what does "Y" stand for?".  "Addie", I said "There isn't a Y in UDA".  Addie replies, "I know mom, but what does it stand for"?...... Basically she still didn't get it and this went on for another 5 min.

After a few moments of silence Addie blurts out, "It's kind of gross how babies come out of moms"! I just reply, "Yes, it is" and hope she ends the conversation.  Of course she doesn't!  "It's just really weird", she says.  "Why can't they just always come out of the belly"?  I am trying to end the conversation the best I can, so I just reply "Its more convenient when it comes out the other way"! "But why", she asked.  I just tell her that when they cut the belly open it takes a lot longer for the mom to heal and recover.  When it comes out the other way its just better.

Addie thinks about it and then replies, "I still don't understand how dads seed gets in your belly"!  Then Tate in a matter of fact way says, "Mom just swallows it"!!!! This sort of made me laugh, for many reasons....
Now remember we have been driving in the car this whole time.  I was planning on just dropping the kids off once we got home, because I had to run to the store.  Right after tate makes his wonderful statement I am saved because I pulled into our driveway.... I quickly tell the kids to get out of the car because I have to go.  "But wait", Addie said. "Is that true, you swallow it"? Only my kids, would ask this and so you know, they DO NOT know where dads so called seed comes from.  They only know dad has a swimming seed he sort of plants in me or at least that's the easiest way i can explain it to them for now is what I tell them.  I can't lie to my kids because I don't want them to hear the truth from someone else, but I also didn't want to have this conversation at that moment.  I simply reply, "No, thats not correct.  But I have to go so if you have to know now, go ask your father"!

They never did ask Matt but Im sure very soon the conversation will come up again so for now I will just prepare myself the best I can.

To Teach or Not To Teach.....

As a parent, I chose to teach my children the proper names of their body parts.  Namely their privates.  I didn't want them to be uncomfortable when talking about their body or if they had questions.  I felt calling things by their proper names would help with this.  For some reason this choice has seemed to backfire a bit.  Both my Tate and Addie are almost too comfortable talking about their private parts.


Obviously I have mentioned time and time again that even though we know the correct names, that doesn't mean you go saying it everywhere you go.  Sometimes out of respect for those around you, you can just say private parts.  My kids have no such filter. 

When they both first started using the proper names,  Addie kept getting confused and would call her private a P**** (Not that it's a bad word, but out of respect for those who don't want to read it).  I remember one day in particular when she informed me her penis was hurting.  I corrected her, but reminded her that she could just say "private" instead.  Tate was just as open.   While playing soccer in the backyard with friends, I would often hear him announce when his privates (but using the correct name) got kicked or bumped.  I started worrying what other parents were going to start thinking and hoped that eventually they would realize when or when these proper names were appropriate to use.

A couple years later, they still don't get it.  Recently we went on a family trip and took our kids to eat at a restaurant.  The tables were on sand and overlooked the ocean.  It was a beautiful setting, but my kids quickly found how to best annoy each other.  The started kicking sand under the table.  Next thing you know tate is yelling loudly at Addie, "You kicked my P****"!!!! Addie laughed and this made Tate mad.  He then kicked her and she screamed, "Tate kicked me in the V******"!!!  Matt and I tried to calm them both down but before they stopped, each child had to loudly tell us several more time where the other kicked them.  Finally things calmed down and our food came.  

As we continued eating the subject changes.... Well sort of.  The kids wanted us to know that they knew just what to do if a burglar broke into our house.  Not thinking much of it, we asked them how?  Proud and loud one of them said, "I would kick them in the P**** or V******"!  At this point I'm sure the tables next to us were wondering what kind of parents we were.  I was just a little embarrassed (understatement).   Obviously we looked at this as another teaching opportunity and told them that there would probably be smarter things to do first then to go and attack the burglar.  If you can get out of the house and run.... do that! If not, and you have a  phone near by or could get to one without being seen, you should call 911.  Of course Addie claims she has a better "Ideal" (Addie says ideal instead of idea no matter how many times we have corrected her).  We asked her what that idea was and she said, "I would first call a neighbor and then tell them to call 911 for me".  Although this wasn't as embarrassing as the kids using proper names out loud for all to hear, it did cause me to wonder.  Addie is so funny.

You never know what conversations are kids will bring up or what they are going to say.  They defiantly keep us on the edge of our chairs.  I still think it's good they know the proper name but with my kids it always seems they can turn a good idea to a questionable one.  lol