Oh my, I must be crazy. Seriously, what was I thinking? My fear of water does not go way because I learned to swim.
So I went to my class and for the first hour I was really trying hard to not freak out. I went under water did our simple exercises and would come back out of the water extremely relieve to still be alive. I kept telling myself, "Your ok and your doing GREAT Tasha". Keep in mind I WAS TELLING MYSELF. So finally it was time to move from the shallow to the deep end of the pool. I was fin for the first 5-10 min., but then 13 feet seemed a lot more like 100 feet to me and I sort of flipped out. Well I stared getting worried and tapped my instructor to say I am ready to go up for air. He tried really hard to calm me down and get me relaxed. He really is a great instructor and for a few minutes I did calm down. He had me looking at him and breathing slowly. Then he passed me on to Matt and whoa... Freak out time once again. I started breathing crazy and blowing bubble everywhere and so my instructor smacked me in the face. Well more like he hit my forehead with his palm of his and. It got my attention and I don't blame him one but. I needed something to distract me before I hurt myself. Well the instructor gave in to my demands of letting me go up to the top and I was so relieved. Then I burst into tears. Yes, very embarrassing. I was so disappointed in myself.
Anyway long story short. Mission to completely overcome fear of water.... FAILED. For now that is. I still got some crazy in me because I am going back tuesday to attempt it again. Maybe....
Well the good news is Matt did awesome. I am a little bummed because I really want to experience the whole swimming under water and living the life of a fish thing. But for those of you who have true phobias, I am guessing you know where I am coming from. I realize i is all in my mind, but man your mind can really cause you to think all sort of things. I know I was breathing totally fine under water. I did it for several minutes. But once my mind started running I swear no air was coming out of my mouth piece. I am so frustrated.
I will keep you updated on my mission to conquer my fear. Not that you care, but I feel better thinking you do ;)
Oh, and thanks Brandi for keeping all thoughts to yourself..... Ok I am totally calling you to see what the rest of your comment should have said. Dang you! Just Kidden.
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9 comments:
just keep telling yourself "i am braver than Emily is" and it might make you feel better! unless of course you get eaten by a shark..ha ha ha ha. then you will be thinking how much dumber than Emily you are! jk :) you will not get eaten by a shark. you can do it.
I know how you feel! It sucks. I tried to go snorkeling with Jeremy when we were in Hawaii- that didn't go too well at all. Good luck. I'm sure with work it's something that can be overcome. Let me know what helps.
OH NO. That didn't go great. I feel your pain. I would freak out too. At least there are not sharks in the pool. right? I bet you will do so much better next time. thanks for the laugh.
basically your experience was exactly my experience! However when I tried to go up I couldn't get my weights adjusted to get back up!!! However you are a lot braver then me because I wouldn't go back in!!
Hey Tash I created a blog and I am going to add you!!!!
Jenn
Listen, do NOT consider this "mission failed" because at least you tried. That takes guts, girl. Now seriously, get your triathlete bod back in that pool and get certified so we can all go diving together. Me and Clive are certified and LOVE it!
Oh wow- it was so interesting to read this today. I wish you so much success in conquering this fear and greatly admire you for sharing. I am going to keep following your blog because I think it's great what you are doing! (I also love that you love YCMT!) ;)
Aww..I'm sorry, Mama! You're SUPER brave to try to conquer this fear, though!
I wanted to thank you for stopping by LoLo Craft. I had a dear, dear, dear friend/grandmother/my hero named Linda Snow. She passed away a few years ago, but your name brought back all sorts of good memories. :-)
LOVED reading this post. I don't think anyone can truly understand this unless, as you say, they have a phobia.
I DO! I'm claustrophic and I have the same reaction when I have to have an MRI. I can tell myself ALL DAY LONG it's just a machine, I'm not gonna die, etc. Fuggidaboutit. Gotta drug me up just so the technician doesn't quit! lol
GFY for really trying to overcome. And your mission DID NOT FAIL. You tried, you had SOME success, and you went back. MISSION not fully accomplished but HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL!! Brava!
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